*A Water Drop’s Odyssey

A water cycle story based on Homer’s Odyssey.

By: Nevie Owens and Emma Chu

*This is satire and a parody of Homer’s Odyssey. We are just children so if there is copyright we meant no harm plus Homer is dead he can’t sue us… Anyway, have fun!

*There are references to Epic The Musical! Try to find them!

*This is not for the faint of heart there is tragedy, love, gore and other surprises!

 Here is a key for the characters: Odripious=Odyseuss, Eurlakeuchus=Euruluchus, Puddlephemus=Polyphemus, Epoolnor=Eplenor, Potamedes=Peremides, Penelosea=Penelope, Tidelemachus=Telemachus

*Droplets- male

*Dropletts/Droplettas- female

*Drops- both/neither

Oh great Muse, tell me of the water droplet of many ways. Who was away from home  for 20 years or so, after living his whole life in Ithaca (lake,) sacked the great city of Troy, suffered every punishment and pain. Against the wrath of gods and monsters that pursued him as he journeyed home.

600 “men”, 12 ships, 600 “miles” of open “sea” ahead of them on their way home.

600 waterdrops sat waiting patiently in the horse (animal) for the perfect time  to strike. The sun came out and battle raged as the evaporation process began. Soon after the horse was opened the massacre began, water was spilt and drenched the ground. Hours later the warriors viewed the wreckage. The sun came down, cracking the earth and evaporating Odripious and his crew into the clouds.

While in the clouds, they stumbled upon the cave of Puddlephemus. As they entered the cave, Odripious noticed the mass amount of sheep and food. The cave darkened as Puddlephemus rolled the opening shut. The water droplets scurried to hiding spots. Puddlephemus sat down, shaking the “ground” beneath him. One of the waterdrops cried out, alerting Puddlephemus to his location. He stumbled around and grabbed the droplet, devouring him whole. Puddlephemus continued to search around in the dark and ended up taking another life. Screams rang out as another innocent droplet was smashed into the rock side then eaten. This went on for another day and night. Finally Odripious had enough and hatched a plan. When the cyclops left to tend to his flocks, Odripious gathered his fellow soldiers and instructed them to assist him in sharpening a stick into a point. Then they put the point into the fire and turned it red hot. Night had fallen and Odripious and his men feasted on fish and wine with the monster. Soon the Puddlephemus was in a drunken stupor, stumbling around until he fell into bed. He spoke out, asking Odripious’s name. He replied with

“Nobody. My name is Nobody.”

Puddlephemus paused, then said

“You shall be the final man to die.”

That's when our heroes struck. They drove the staff into the Cyclops single eye, nearly blinding him as he screamed in agony. He raised his hand and wrenched out the pole. He cried out to his father, Lord Poisidon, king of the seas, to ease his suffering. Odripious and his men clung to the underside of the sheep to escape. The clouds had gotten too full and precipitation washed the crew and the sheep into the river.

“Hey, cyclops!”

Odripious shouted from his boat.

“I'm the reigning king of Ithaca,

I am the infamous Odripious!”

Puddlephemus bellowed in pain as he tossed a boulder blindly in Odripious’ direction. It missed and they sped into the darkness

They were safe. For now.

(Currently in Odripious’s dreams: *He is sleeping on the boat that is sailing on the river still*)

“HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE LESSONS I TAUGHT YOU?! HE IS STILL A THREAT UNTIL HE’S DEAD! Why didn’t you finish it!?”

Athena screamed at Odripious.

“What good would killing do when mercy is a skill more of this world could learn to use? MY FRIEND IS DEAD, OUR FOE IS BLIND! ISN’T THAT ENOUGH?!”

Odripious shouted

“And giving him your name and home address!? You were reckless, sentimental at best. THAT is NOT a teaching of mine! You've grown soft, your dead friends can attest."

 She chastised him.

“Hey!” Odripious said warningly.

“Put your emotions ASIDE! You're disgracing me! You’ve wasted my time! So this is my goodbye!”

“That’s just like you ALWAYS caring for yourself! Well I’M the one who has to deal with the strain when someone dies, so MAYBE I don’t want more hardship!”

“I’m leaving!”

“Fine by me!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

And with that, Athena vanished, leaving Odripious alone and empty.

After many days in the river, the droplets and Odripious began to grow tired of rowing and the wind had died down. They sat in the middle of the body of water waiting for anything. They prayed to the gods. Suddenly without warning, the wind began to pick up and the water turmoiled. Was this nature or divine or a blessing in disguise? It didn't matter at the moment, their prayers had worked. But the storm was too powerful and the water droplets struggled to control the ship. Suddenly Elpoolnor and Potamedes pointed

“Captain, look!”

 The seemingly mythical island of bronze. The Land of Aeolus. They entered his halls and asked for directions and a way to get home. Aeolus entertained them for a month. After that they set sail, having obtained The Legendary Bag. Aeolus pulled Odripious aside and explained to him that the bag contained the winds, so powerful that if fully opened, they would get blown completely off course. With this knowledge, Odripious stayed awake for 9 days, guarding the bag. After those 9 days, Ithaca, their homeland, was in sight. He sighed in relief, knowing that he could close his eyes. Little did he know that his crewmates were plotting to open the bag. They were under the impression that the bag contained great treasures. Why else would their captain guard it so? While Odripious slept, a few droplets snuck the bag out of his grasp. They uncinched the bag’s drawstring. The air rushed out too fast for them to register the effect. Odripious was awakened by the screams of terror and the rushing winds whipping through the sails as boats capsized and some drowned. Suddenly the wind stopped but the water under the boats shook, swirling around one point. A figure rose out of the waves, towering over the mere mortals. It was Poseidon. God of the sea, earth shaker, mountain flipper and leveler of lands. His voice boomed as he called out:

“Odripious, was it you who maimed my son?”

“Yes my lord. It was I, but you don’t understa-”

“I don’t care about that, but you let him live and he’s been bugging me ALL DAY LONG! If you just killed him you wouldn’t be here. But NoOoOoOoO, you gotta spare him.”

As he said that, he struck the bottom of the river floor with his trident causing a massive tidal wave to crash over the ships, capsizing them and plunging the crew into the darkness of the water.

The tide brought the water droplets from the river to the ocean.

Odripious woke up coughing on a sandy paradise. Unbeknownst to him and his crew, they were in the ocean. (For the story they are on an island but in the water cycle they are in the ocean.) He looked around for his fleet and breathed a sigh of relief seeing that all of them were intact and everyone survived.

Eurlakeuchus rushed up to Odripious.

“Captain, I have something I must confess. Something I must get off my chest.”

“Not now Eurlakeuchus, go explore the island, make sure it's safe. Take some of the other droplets with you.”

Eurlakeuchus hurried off without further instruction, gathered 22 others and set off in the opposite direction.

After a few hours he returned, but he came alone and out of breath. After some confusion on Odripious’s part, Eurlakeuchus finally got out the full story.

“We had been walking for at least an hour and a half, when we stumbled upon a magnificent castle. I walked up and knocked on the door. A beautiful dropletta opened the door. She had them in just two words: Come inside. Welcome to the best part of your lives.  I stayed behind, sensing a trap. I was right. She turned them into pigs! Only I escaped.”

Odripious and Eurlakeuchus argued about whether the 22 water drops should be saved or not. Odripious ended up winning and journeyed back, alone.

He walked until he spotted the palace Eurlakeuchus spoke of. The palace was situated in a clearing, surrounded by tame and docile animals. The palace itself was made from shining polished marble. He heard his name being called out. He spun around and saw before him a stranger holding a leafy plant.

“Who are you?” Odripious asked.  

The stranger replied:

“Just a friend. I can help you save your crew. A woman like Circe shouldn't be messed with. You would need the help of a certain god. Someone who could, send a message.”

“Hermes?”

“Correct, It is I, Hermes. Messenger of the gods.”

Odripious nodded. Hermes offered the plant to Odripious. He explained why the plant is necessary and what it's called.

“It's called Moly and if you eat it then it will protect you and make you immune to all her magic.”

Odripious did as Hermes instructed.

 Hermes wished Odripious good luck and disappeared.

Odripious walked up the steps and knocked confidently on the door. The door swung open immediately and a tall dropletta stepped into view and welcomed Odripious inside. He graciously accepts her invitation and walked inside. She had him sit down at her long dining table and placed a bowl of stew in front of him. He took a bite and she struck him with her staff and commanded him to kneel before her.  Fortunately for Odripious her magic did not work on him. That had caught her by surprise and Odripious pointed his sword at her and ordered her to free his drops.

The crew and Odripious spent a month there and received food, clothes, and other necessities for the continuation of their journey. Circe had told Odripious that if he went to the underworld (soil surface) he could receive wisdom from the dead souls that resided there.

Now in the soil surface, Odripious and his fellow droplets walk towards the fields of Asphodel in search of the blind prophet Tiresies? But a far off whisper stops Odripious in his tracks

“....waiting….”

“I know that voice,”

Odripious murmured to himself. He gasped

 “Mom?”

“....waiting….”

The voice echoed around the fields. A spectral figure of an old woman coalesced in front of them

“Odripious when you come home I’ll be waiting…”

Her voice was like a haunting melody echoing around them. Odripious stood frozen, “tears” streaming down his face as his mother repeated her last thoughts over and over. He collapsed to the ground and whispered:

“I took too long, and ventured too far. While you were waiting.”

His mother’s ghost faded away

“bye Mom.”

He sobbed. Eurlakeuchus helped him up and said

“We have to keep moving. Those were our orders.”

They walked on till they found the perfect place to dig a hole. They killed a small black ram and a black ewe. Additionally, they made sacrifices of honey, milk, wine, water, and barley. A specter floated up to drink from the blood. He raised his head and his features solidified. It was the prophet Tiresias. His beard was drenched in blood from the pit and wore a cloth that covered his empty eyes.

“I am the prophet with the answers you seek. Maybe I'll give them to you. Maybe I won't.”

Odripious groaned.

“There is a world where I help you get home. But that is not a world I know.”

“This cannot be. We have suffered, evaporated and sailed through the toughest of clouds and you tell us it's all been for nothing.”

“I see your palace covered in red. I see faces of droplets, who for a long time thought you to be dead.”

Tiresias added:

“You will reach the island of Helios. When you get there under no circumstances will you harm the cattle. If the cattle live, you will get home safely but if you kill them, your ship and crew will be destroyed."

Odripious took his words to heart and left.

Still in the soil surface, a mutiny is brewing.

“Captain, I’ve got a secret I can no longer keep.”

Eurlakeuchus said.

“I opened the wind bag while you were asleep… I’m so sorry, forgive me…”

Odripious sighed thinking about what Circe had said, and completely ignoring Eurlakeuchus.

“When you leave the underworld you will see a cliffside and a small whirlpool, you cannot avoid it. It is Scylla. She has 6 heads and each one needs a sacrifice. You have to sacrifice 6 of your crew. This is the only way to make it home.”

Odripious looked down at the floor and said:

“Eurlakeuchus, light up six torches…”

 Haunting voices swirled in the back of Odripious’s head.

“Deep down we’re lonely demons from hell. Deep down

 Leaving them feeling betrayed, breaking the bonds that you've made.”

As Eurlakeuchus lit the torches, he saw what looked to be a dragon-like head skim the water before submerging once again

“Captain,”

He warned

“Something approaches”

“Hello.”

A voice called out it was… the only way to describe it is bone-chilling. It made you want to scream and run for your mother. It sounded almost like six voices talking at once. A dragon-like head emerged from a hole in the tunnel just meters away, its long neck allowing it to reach from the prow of the boat to the stern five more followed. Odripious yelled at the top of his lungs

“ROW FOR YOUR LIIIIIVES!”

Everyone grabbed a row and rowed as fast as they could. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARHG!”

All of the droplets turned in horror as one of them was lifted into the sky. Scylla threw him into the air and caught him in her mouth, blood dripped down her face and she grinned grotesquely. Another disappeared into the sky with a shriek of terror and agony.

“Captian, DO SOMETHING!”

Eurlakeuchus cried. Odripious just looked away. Fifteen long minutes of agony and screaming later Eurlakeuchus stands staring at the decimated crew. There were 6 more dead.

“Tell me you did not know that would happen,”

Eurlakeuchus challenged Odripious desperately.

“Say you did not know how that would end. Look me in the eyes and tell me captain. THAT YOU DID NOT JUST SACRIFICE SIX DROPLETS! SAY SOMETHING!”

“I CAN’T!”

Odripious yelled

“Then you have forced my hand.”

Eurlakeuchus unsheathed his sword and attacked Odripious, they fought like demons, eventually Odripious slammed Eurlakeuchus into the floor of the boat and pointed his sword at Eurlakeuchus.

 “I AM NOT LETTING YOU GET IN MY WAaAaAy!”

He brought the sword down towards Eurlakeuchus. Then he felt a searing pain in his chest he saw a sword point sticking out blood pooling in the fabric he only had time to say

“My brothers, why?”

Before passing out, he saw his crew begin to bandage him up. Then everything went black.

Still in the soil surface

He awoke on a strange island full of golden cows just roaming around  

“Where are we?”

“The first island we found.”

Eurlakeuchus explained.

“And there’s this statue of the god of the sun. I don't know where it's from, but here's where we found all the cows to hunt. And hunger is so heavy”

“Please don’t tell me you’re about to do what I think you’ll do.” Odripious begged “If you kill his cattle who know what he’ll send”

“I’m just a man,” Eurlakeuchus said and brought his sword down plunging through the heart of the animal, it let out a loud “Moooooooooo” its eyes darted around. Its hide crawling on its carcass. Thunder boomed overhead.

“You’ve doomed us all Eurlakeuchus!”

Odripious cried.

“Those cows were immortal, they were the sun god's friends and now that we pissed them off. WHO do you think he’ll send?!”

They rowed as fast as they could but it wasn’t fast enough.

The clouds parted and out stepped The Thunder Bringer, Lord Zeus.

Zeus formed from the lightning in front of the ships, towering, closing the clouds and making the sky dark.

“Tell me, Odripious.”

Boomed Zeus’s mighty voice.

“Why did you touch the cattle? You were SPECIFICLY told not to!”

The droplets trembled in fear. Zeus resumed his speech.

“If I were to make you choose, the lives of your crew, or your own? Why would I think they’d lose? Enlighten me. Great King of Ithaca. Since hunger was far too great, why did you choose the cattle?”

Odripious started to open his mouth but Zeus stopped him.

“That was a rhetorical question, don’t answer it. I need you to choose.”

“Choose? How am I supposed to choose between the lives of me or my crew? That makes me the monster…”

“Somebody must die today and you have got the final say… You or your crew?”

“Odripious please.”

Eurlakeuchus pleaded with Odripious but it was no use. Odripious had made up his mind.

“I have to see her, I have to see Penolosea and Tidelemachus.”

Zeus nodded and lightning struck down, splitting the boats in two killing everyone but Odripious. He sat in the soil surface, deep in a state of depression until he passed out and everything turned black.

Now in the groundwater…

“Good morning sleepyhead. I swore you were dead when you washed up on my island.”

That was the most cheerful voice Odripious had ever heard. He opened his eyes and saw a young woman with long dark braids and brilliant green eyes that reflected the sun, blinding him.  

“Who are you?”

He asked.

“I am Calypso, an immortal goddess, but tied to Ogygia for life.”

She looked saddened at that, but quickly perked up with another question.

“You talk in your sleep. Who's Penelosea?”

“She's my wife..”

Calypso looks murderous and disassociated for a split second, or maybe that's just the light… who knows…

“ANYways, I've got all you could want here, all you could need here, just you and me, my dear, my love for life, now till the end of time, you are now mine, all mine.”

Unfortunately Odripious was kept captive on Ogygia for 7 years. One day, Calypso got a sudden visit from Hermes, with a message from the gods that she must release Odripious. She fought as much as she could but there was no changing the mind of the 12 Olympians.

“Odripious,”

She said tentatively.

“I am ready to let you go.”

Odripious looked up with hope in his eyes and stood up.

“Is it true? Have my prayers been answered?”

Calypso nodded.

“It is time for you to return home.”

And with that, Odripious gave her a long and grateful hug. Together they built a raft for Odripious to sail on and stocked up on provisions for the long journey home. Odripious left the safe groundwater of Ogygia and headed into the treacherous glaciers via subglacial sediment.

Now in the glaciers (the ocean in the story but glaciers for science,) Odripious made his way through hazardous rocks, giant tidal waves and the occasional island that littered the Mediterranean Sea. The glacier melted and found its way to the plants where it deposited Odripious and his raft.

Odripious was so close to home he could see his palace. (He was on the plant by now.) First things first, get into hiding, disguise yourself so no one recognizes you. He walked many miles towards Mount Neriton. Something caught the corner of his eye behind him. He spun around and saw Athena.

“Hello old friend, It's been a long time.”

“Yes it has.”

Athena sighed.

“I have been watching you, you have been doing well, even without me. But there is no time for chat, we must hurry.”

Athena disguised Odripious to look like an old beggar. They quickly moved to the lake.

Via transpiration, our hero, Odripious, had traveled from the plant to the lake. He was now under a disguise given to him by Athena. He hiked up to a hut where he asked for housing. A droplet opened the door. He was around Odripious’s age and he was a servant, their swineherd.

“Another beggar,”

he said

“I remember that all beggars are sent by Zeus. So I will gladly house you.”

“Thank you kind soul.”

Odripious said warmly. Odripious stayed the night, but in the morning he awoke to his host telling him

“The young master, Tidelemmachus, would like to see you. He is waiting for you downstairs.”

“Tidelemachus…”

Odripious whispered under his breath. He was going to see his son for the first time in twenty years. He hobbled down the stairs. A young droplet was waiting for him he looked like a younger Odripious (in his former form of course)

“Hello,”

Tidelemachus said.

“What brings you here?”

“I haven't seen you for twenty years…”

“What do you mean?”

Tidlelemachus asked although while he said it he was starting to guess

“Tidelemachus, It’s me, your father!”

His disguise burned off revealing Odripious’s true appearance. He glowed like a god

Both drops smiled and hugged each other.

“My son, I'm finally home!” Odripious cried. They laughed and cried and celebrated so loud it was akin to two seagulls screeching like their eggs had been stolen.

“Tidelemachus, how would you like to take back our home?”

After a few hours of planning, Odripious (In beggar form, of course,) marched up the palace stairs and banged on the door. Loud rambunctious noise came from inside as the door opened. Music and laughter echoed through the dining hall, food flew over Odripious’s head, he ducked but caught the piece.

“What a mighty strong beggar you are.”

Crowed Antinous. He was a suitor of Penelosea. There were 108 of them and it was about to become a blood bath. Suddenly the doors above them opened. Penelosea walked out. A hush fell over the hall as she spoke.

“Whoever can string my husband's old bow, and shoot through twelve axes cleanly. He will be the new king, sit down at the throne and rule with me as his queen.”

She sighed.

“Let the arrow fly, once you know that your aim is true

Because I'd rather die, than grow old without the best of you”

She turned on her heel, left the great hall as her maids began to set up The Challenge. Many suitors walked up and attempted to try. None succeeded. Finally Odripious stepped up. Jeers could be heard from the audience. He picked up the bow, stretched the string and hooked it on the ends. He plucked it, thunder crashed and lightning boomed. He stood up definitely and shot an arrow through all 12 axes and straight through Antinous’s heart. He spluttered and fell forward, dead. This caused an outrage. Odripious called out over the noise.

“It is I, Odripious of Ithaca. I have come home at last. Those who do not leave now will die a gruesome death.”

About 4 people left. Odripious called out to his son:

“Tidelemachus! Join me to slaughter these pigs.”

Tidelemachus joined him and thus began the massacre. The suitors grabbed spears but there was no point. Odripious and Tidelemacus already had them out numbered just by skill and assistance from the swineherd and Philoetious. Odripious turned his sights on Ctesippus of Same. He grabbed a spear from the stack of weapons Tidelemachus had set aside earlier. He hoisted it chest high and threw it right at Ctesippus’s chest, he fell backwards into the ground. Arrows and spears flew back and forth, the ones from the right side always hit their targets and the ones from the left occasionally hit.

A few hours later.

Blood stained the floor, sandals and walls. Bodies were dragged outside and stacked as the servants mourned the deaths and sobbed as they scrubbed the floor. He silently walked to a basin of “water” and slowly silently washed off the gore.

“Father?”

Tidelemachus said

“Should I tell mother that you are here?”

“Yes,”

Odripious answered.

“Thank you… my son.”

Tidelemachus smiled and ran off to alert his mother. Odripious stood in silence and glanced around before saying

“Show yourself, I know you’re watching me.”

With a dramatic flourish the air in front of him rippled and Athena appeared smiling at him.

“You did well.”

“She’s ready for you,”

Tidelemachus said. Odripious walked into the room where he saw his beautiful wife Penelosea he walked over to her

“My wonderful wife,”

he said lovingly

“I have finally made my way back to you.”

Penelosea smiled warmly and told him

“Is it you? Have my prayers been answered?

Is it really you standing there, or am I dreaming once more?

You look different, your eyes look tired

Your frame is lighter, your smile torn

Is it really you, my love?“

“I am not the man you fell in love with, I am not the man you once adored. But I am Odripious.”

“If that's true, could you do me a favor? See that wedding bed, could you carry it over and take it far away from here?”

“How could you say this? I built the bed, carved it into the olive tree where we first met. A symbol of our everlasting love, to move it I would have to chop it down.”

“Only my husband knew that, so I guess that makes him you!”

Penelopsea shouted in pure glee and happiness.

“I love you.”

They both embraced and lived happily ever after.

THE END